Thursday, December 6, 2007

Over-Planning....Do I?

After a lengthy discussion with my friend Jill several days ago, and some other occurrences in my life the last couple of days, I started to question some of my actions and whether or not I am an over-planner.

If you ask anyone who knows me well, I think a few of the terms that would come to mind and out of mouth for them would include things like worrier, work-a-holic, soft-spoken, organized. At least I like to think that's what they would say.

So as I am laying in bed last night, debating this topic with myself, I realize that my mind quickly drifts to Sunday, where I have 3 things planned for the day already. At 1:00 I have my sister's birthday party. At 5:00 I have a Girl's Groups gathering and at 7:00 I have a date with Keith. The point isn't that I have those things planned, it's that it is Wednesday night, and I am lying there thinking about every detail of the day. If the boys get up at 7:00 in the morning, I will be able to make them breakfast, get them dressed, start to get ready, lay Nickolas down for a morning nap at 10:00, he will sleep until 12:00, then pack everyone up and head over to my Mom's for the birthday party. We can stay there until about 2:30 or 3, and then Keith can head out to drive the boys down to the lakehouse. They will be able to nap in the car that way. While he's doing that I can go to my friend's house and visit. Then get home and he will be there for our date that night. On top of that I'm planning what I will wear, the boys will wear, what kind of food we will have that day, what time I think I will be in bed that night, the list does on and on. And that's just one day out of the week....

While referencing the handy dandy webernet, this stood out to me...

"In an attempt to exercise maximum control over his world, the worrier tries to anticipate every possible occurrence and plan for it – in minute detail. What makes this kind of planning inappropriate is that it is constant. It is not a plan that is mapped out at the onset of the journey and occasionally updated if warranted. It is a plan that is constantly being revised from moment to moment. The entire journey is spent deliberating the next move."

Here's what they say is a step to take in order to help with overplanning:

If you do find yourself engaging in overplanning, then each day discipline yourself to refrain from overplanning one ‘event’ – whether it be the commute, the trip to the dentist or the grocery shopping. Just force yourself to conduct that ‘event’ on the fly.

I have to say, I think it will be hard for me to stop planning out the grocery trip. I have my coupons organized by department and synced up with my grocery list, which is also written out in order of the path I take through the store. I plan my grocery list according to which meals I will be making in the next 7 days. I plan my meals based on the budget I have put in place for the week, and I am constantly working on the budget, I look at it and keep it in check every single day. Poor Keith can't get a penny through without me asking questions.

So I have come to the reality that I may have a problem here, and I think I may have to make out a list of actions to take in order to plan to resolve it.

1 comment:

Tori_vlw said...

I definatly feel you there :/ jlee complains that i over-plan and over-analyze Everything. and doesnt plan anything or who knows what he analyzes but its no where near what i do :/

sundays when i get a chance to go to waco and go to hfs are the easiest days for me to just go with the flow and not plan.

it was bad one day before i got my student loans i had SO much to do, i listed it all off to jlee in the morning so he knew why, if i didnt answer a txt or call, i would be busy and just didnt say anything for a min and he was like....you just read off a list you wrote down right? and i was like no...i remember it all. and he was like thats Crazy and was completely baffled? i guess is a good word that i could manage all that

so in a way its a good thing, we Can manage our lives amazingly well. but it doesnt mean we should always :(

and i feel sorry for jlee to cuz i bombard him with questions. but in a way thats good to cuz it helps keep the conversation going.
and i like knowing why, why is probably my most commonly asked question. i like to know what made people come up with a decision etc.

anyways thats my 2 cents :) btw im making it a point to read your blog more often and respond and just keep yall updated to :) so yeah :)

-Aunt Jumbooo