So my list of things to do by 08.08.08 has been coming along slowly, but I have decided to knock two of them out at the same time, if I can get the guts to do it.
I have invited my grandparents to eat at The Melting Pot next Thursday night, which of course is on the list. It is one of my all-time favorite places to eat, and they have never been.
What better place/venue to take the plunge and tell a family member my true feelings-where they are obligated to stay because they are getting a free meal! The true feeling thing-on the list.
Now this is a big deal for me. Communication is not my forté. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem speaking with someone, standing around and cracking jokes, avoiding real issues, dancing around topics-but I do struggle really talking to people, especially family.
My whole family does it. We either try and use humor, talk about something else or go silent. I'm so tired of being that way.
So my plan is to finally have the guts to tell them how I really feel about their role in my life. Everything from how I am scared of what they think of my decisions, to thanking them for being parental figures my whole life. I have never in my life been able to look someone in the eye and say those types of things, be that vulnerable with emotions. If I even attempt it I hide behind email, letters or humor.
I hope this is a step towards the ability to have more intimate and engaging relationships with people, and that they leave dinner understanding more of how I feel.